Changed, ... but that’s OK.

Life can change in an instant. Take a sudden cardiac arrest, for example. It flips your world upside down. Suddenly, everyday things become challenges. Before, I was an optimist, but after my incident, I felt like I lost my sparkle. The brain tends to focus on the negative.

My life has definitely shifted since then, and it's a daily reminder. It's not just about me; it affects my spouse and our relationship too. Here's what constantly reminds me of that event:

  • Dealing with the pressure of my ICD defibrillator against my ribs during sleep.
  • Keeping track of medication to regulate my heart.
  • Regular trips to the doctor for check-ups on my condition and the defibrillator.
  • Planning trips with the reassurance of nearby hospitals... "in case of".
  • Feeling uneasy on walks without seeing other people around.
  • Needing to take things slower and avoid stress and sudden temperature changes.
  • ...

Accepting these changes was tough. It took therapy, studying Stoicism, and a mindset shift from being a victim to being a survivor. Besides the fact that my heart stopped beating for 19 minutes, I was technically "gone" for four and a half minutes during that cardiac arrest, but luckily, my brain suffered no lasting damage.

Today, I've come to terms with it. It is what it is. I can't change what happened, but I can change how I perceive it. And I've realized that even in the toughest situations, there's a silver lining:

  • My defibrillator is like my personal bodyguard.
  • I've found the right medication balance with minimal side effects.
  • Hospital visits, while annoying, give me peace of mind.
  • Traveling, though different now, is still possible.
  • Walking slower lets me appreciate nature more.

So, it's all about focusing on the positives and cherishing what I still have. It's about adapting and finding opportunities in every situation. That's how I've learned to navigate life after my cardiac arrest.

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